Con artists are not the most celebrated members of our society simply because most of the things they do, are considered immoral.
Be it swindling cash from the public through fake job vacancies, selling a mysterious pieces of land to more than one buyer, taking someone on an non existent love journey and more common being swindled with election promises.
They come in different shapes and sizes but certain though they all bear certain outstanding common traits.
I have talked to a number of individuals who have fallen to the con artists’ trap and they all share similar experiences.
From those conversations, I have compiled a number of outstanding traits the con artists demonstrated which I strongly believe the rest of us can learn from albeit with positive intentions. This include:
1. They demonstrate confidence
Con artists ooze with confidence. They approach their assignment with a sense of confidence only them know where it comes from.
They win over souls because of their magical display of confidence. Their words, their looks, their promises all make them seem so genuine until when the clock ticks.
Unfortunately most of us have abandoned this great attribute in life. We barely demonstrate confidence in ourselves. We always wait to be affirmed. We do not believe in who we are.
To be successful in life, you must learn to carry yourself with confidence. confidence is contagious and people will want to be around confident souls.
Bosses entrust confident employees with great tasks. For men!! women love being around confident males.
Up your game and put on the garment of confidence.
2. They are great listeners
Beside their show of confidence, con artists have learnt to display an attribute that the rest of the world rarely does. They are great and empathetic listeners.
While everyone else itches to talk, con artists have learnt the powerful attribute of learning to listen for as long as it takes to win over their prey.
Great and empathetic listening can win over any soul. You must learn from the con artists how to listen to your friends, loved one, your workplace colleagues and most importantly your clients.
Listening without interrupting a conversation and asking where you never understood makes a human soul feel valued and end up trusting you more. Such will pour out their heart to you in a way like no other.
Listening is a tough art to learn but a very powerful if you want to be effective in your life, business and work.
Ask most women how they fell in love with their men and you will hear something like, “he is a good listener”.
Listening is a social magnet.
3. They never look bored, always enjoy the moment
Con artists are never bored with themselves. Their lives are always portrayed as exciting.
Because most people are bored and are always looking for something to excite them, they easily fall pray to con artists. They always get some “excitement”.
To succeed in life you must learn to art of beating self boredom. When you are bored it shows all over your face and life. This breaks the confidence others would have in you and as a result they move away to others who seem exciting.
The world interprets boredom as being bored with yourself and not being confident.
The confident man always finds something fun to engage in, even if he’s whistling or swinging a pocket watch or jingling his change. Whatever you do, make it fun. The more you laugh, the more dopamine you release so be happy, man.
4. They hold their opinion to themselves
Close to being a good listener is the ability to hold your mouth from rambling about your political or religious opinions to others.
Con artists know one thing, the quickest way to make yourself look like an idiot to 50% of the people you meet is to run your mouth about your political beliefs. You will alienate half of the people you meet simply by stating a preference for some presidential candidate.
Learn to keep your mouth shut about your preferences and if you are intelligent, “have no personal preference at all”.
To increase you influence on earth, learn to be silent with thoughts that create walls around you. Learn to let people share their thoughts and ideas and find out how you could build a bridge toward them instead.
5. Are knowledgeable through research
Whenever con artists pick a target, they make every effort on earth to study and understand them properly. They always want to be in sync with the target so as to create confidence and make them lower their guard.
Be it your sport of interest, your favorite joint, or some of your close friends, a con will invest into serious research to build a solid knowledge base about all this.
A guy planning to con a bank may end up knowing more about the internal security systems more than the employee in charge.
How much time do you take to study or research on things that you claim matter to you?
A sound knowledge base about your friends, clients, employer, profession etc gives you an edge and makes you win people’s confidence.
It is imperative to display impressive knowledge or skill at something.
6. They “respect” others personal space
Human beings naturally protect their space and don’t like others who try to walk in uninvited.
Con artists know this very well and they have a sense of patience that makes them win the trust of their target who eventually give them the psychological permission to invade the “rooms in their lives”.
You need to learn this sense of respect and always be patient with other human beings.
To win the hearts of men and women, show respect to their personal space. Respect their preferences. Do not be judgmental. Acknowledge the life journeys they have had and don’t blame them for the mishaps they have encountered.
When people feel comfortable with you, they will let you into their space and trust you too. Just be careful not to breach the trust created.
7. They always dress to impress
Most con stories I have heard are all punctuated with, “the guy/lady was always smartly dressed to even think that he/she was a con”.
Con artists know the power of dressing well and smartly. They know it gives them some crucial wins with their prey. They will “dress to con”.
With the millennial debate raging across the globe, the art of dressing smartly is gradually being decimated with the view that millennials don’t like the suit culture.
Well, like it or not, how you dress may be the only reason on whether you will seal a deal or not regardless of your demographic dispensation.
To be successful and persuasive in life you must learn from the con artists the powerful art of dressing to impress. Know how to dress for each occasion and do it seriously.
8. They rarely boast or brag
While demonstrating their “success” con artists cunningly ensure they do not brag so much about it. They always leave room into entice their prey into thinking and desiring that which they are “successful” at.
They allow you to ask silent questions and give answers to yourself. They make their target move a step closer by wanting to know more and wishing to partake of the same.
Con artists know that too much bragging automatically creates suspicion thus pushing people away.
While it is good to sell your skills, talents and all important aspects of who you are, never brag a lot about it. Instead, let your strut and your aura speak for you.
Actions always speak louder than words.
9. They create social proof
Whenever they are out on a mission, con artists are always fully loaded with all they need to win confidence.
I once heard of a story about a con real estate sales person who issued his targets with nice business cards and a website link which was pulled offline soon after the prey had made their down payments.
The business cards and the online presence served well in building the “clients” trust and confidence in the deal and the deal-maker.
How prepared are you in presenting yourself out there to your market?
To win the confidence of potential clients, make sure you have all the basic things that may be asked of you.
How does it feel when you meet this “consultant” who forgot his business cards at home and still has his business website under construction?
10. They take pride in their accomplishments
While taking measured steps to avoid outright bragging, most cons will always share a streak of their previous achievements to their target audience and since most individuals rarely invest in research, they fall into believing the trail of “success” story.
Unfortunately most of us ignore this powerful aspect of life even when applying jobs. I have come across applicants who seem to have a very rich employment history but rarely mention their accomplishments in their resume.
The rule of thumb is “if you did it yesterday, you can do it even better today and tomorrow”
To build more confidence and show the practical side of you, it is important to share with your audience, potential clients or even friends the relevant successes you have had. Learn to make some nice celebratory drum rolls albeit respectfully and in measure hits.
11. They know they are monsters – and enjoy it
One interesting thing about con artists is the fact that they know who they are and they just enjoy being it.
They cherish every moment a prey goes down under their pursuit. They feel accomplished.
Well, I’m not encouraging you to be a monster but rather to take pride in who you are, you capabilities, uniqueness and achievements.
Learn to take a break and pat yourself on the back whenever you achieve something no matter how little you may think it is. Do not wait for external motivation or appreciation.
Celebrate yourself and soon others will be attracted to celebrate in your success.
While being a con artists is a wicked habit, I carefully picked out some great traits which they utilize effectively for the wrong reasons and which I believe most of us who are moral are not utilizing for the right reasons.
Start exercising this attributes one at a time and you will soon experience positive and progressive changes in your life’s pursuit.